Bullying and mobbing is unfortunately a regular part of life. Luckily, it has finally entered the media spotlight, and the public outcry is forcing parents, teachers, administrators, management, and policymakers to step up and do something. But have we reached a point where it can be banished forever?
What is Bullying?
According to stopbullying.gov website, bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavior against someone that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time. There are three types of bullying: verbal, social and physical bullying. It is typically perpetrated by one person although others may join in.
What is Bullying and Mobbing on the workplace, within the family or other areas?
According to this research paper published in International Journal of Business and Social Science, Bullying and mobbing is a secretive, targeted, and widespread form of abuse. The behavior is designed to ostracize, isolate, undermine, and eliminate the person(s) being targeted. (Ref: European Foundation, 2002).
Perpetrators actively, though often covertly, seek to harm others-physically, emotionally, and spiritually, using tactics designed to injure individuals and create physical and psychological power imbalances (Burgess, Garbarino, & Carlson, 2006).
Bullying and mobbing at workplace are “vindictive, cruel, malicious or humiliating attempts to undermine an individual or groups of employees” with mobbing additionally defined as a “concerted effort by a group of employees to isolate a co-worker through ostracism and denigration” (Denenberg & Braverman, 2001, p.7).
Consequences of bullying and mobbing on the target
This article on mastersinpsychologyguide.com explains that when children experience bullying, they tend to become emotionally withdrawn. Regular exposure to hurt, humiliation, and social isolation may cause them to sink deeper into a world of their own. This article from psychologytoday.co highlights that bully occurrences in school cause a great deal of misery on kids and teens, effecting the victim for decades and sometimes even a lifetime. The pain of bullying may be felt most acutely around adolescence, a developmental stage where sensitivity to rejection heightens greatly. Victimization is a common source of school avoidance, leads to feelings of shame and self-worthlessness, and may lead to chronic depression and anxiety.
According to this research paper published in International Journal of Business and Social Science, targets experience isolation and shame; may lose their employment or have their employability negatively impacted; experience mental health and/or physical crises; and are at risk of suicide (Ref: European Foundation; McCord & Richardson, 2001).
In general, It is not a hidden fact that, in most cases, the world and systems support people in manipulative, rich and powerful positions, which often renders victims virtually helpless. Plus victims face societies that are psychologically hardwired to victim-blaming.
Among the most harmful aspects of bullying are the feelings it creates within the victim, feeling themselves helpless and in a hopeless situation.
Consequences on the offender or organizations involved
Based on this research carried out by European Foundation, offenders of mobbing and bulling at workplace often face no consequences.
“Many bullies can be seen as charming and friendly, but they are highly destructive and can manipulate others into providing them with the resources they need to get ahead,” said Darren Treadway, Ph.D., who co-wrote “Political Skill and the Job Performance of Bullies”. (Reference)
Target isolation and sense of shame, along with the silencing of witnesses, help assure the permanence of the offender in the organization. Because the offenders are maintained and the system left intact, in most cases studied, the scapegoating and ostracizing continues as administrators and new employees are infected by this workplace virus (Namie & Namie, 2009).
The WBI found that only 1.7% of employers “conducted [a] fair investigation and protected [the] target from further bullying with negative consequences for the bully”.(Reference)
So, it seems that whole systems (teachers, Management, HR and groups) somehow let bullies and mobbers thrive knowingly or unknowingly. It is difficult to digest the fact that HR, management, teachers and schools do not have the skills to identify bullies and see the victims of bullying.
The most important question is that why bullying and mobbing can survive at the first place?
First and foremost, the target is generally without any power. No, this had nothing to do with victim mentality. They can see that nobody is standing by them and others are sheepishly following the crowd. In general nobody or hardly anybody believes them or stands by them.
Secondly, the leader of the bullying and mobbing group convinces and manipulates the group and people in power that it’s justified, funny and/or even cool. Teachers, HR, management and others involved, trust and believe the bully and avoid the victims.
Thirdly, teachers, managers, HR, and senior staff lack the knowledge and skills to handle bullying and mobbing cases, to deal with bullies and their victims.
Fourthly, bullying, or mobbing supporters avoid or ignore their consciousness and sheepishly or intentionally back the bully, cruelly hurting innocent people.
Last but not least, people consciously avoid seeing the bullying and mobbing happening in front of their eyes. They prefer to stay in their perfect cocoon, not wanting to deal with the victims facing a bully, leaving the victim alone and on its own to handle any consequences. This may be because of own fear of the bully or becoming ostracized themselves, or not wanting to step out of their comfort zone to help the victim.
Conclusion
As long as people and systems keep on supporting the bully and mobbers blindly, and as long as systems and people keep on getting manipulated by bullies and mobbers, it seems that history will keep on repeating itself.
According to this article from psychologytoday.com, bad people can exploit others to their advantage. A big part of the problem is our tolerance for bad behavior, and unwillingness to intervene, and a growing culture of inaction and ignorance.
Is there hope to eliminate this?
It all depends on the conscience of bullies and mobbers and most importantly their supporters. As long as people and systems don’t change, and stop being part of it, bullies and mobbers will thrive.
People need to learn the necessary skills to identify bullies and the victim(s) of mobbing.
How can teachers and managers keep a blind eye on bullying and mobbing victims, their suffering sometimes even reaching suicide and suicidal tendencies? They need to learn how to question and listen to both sides of the story and not just believe on one side blindly.
The bullying and mobbing supporters, the sheep, are equally responsible for this situation. They need to stand up and stop being followers. They have the power to choose the right path.
They says that life is a mystery. Bullying and mobbing can happen to anybody. It can even happen to the bully or their followers. They say that people understand the pain only if it happens to themselves. Put yourself in the shoes of the victim. Would you want this to happen to you? If your answer is no, then step out of your shadow and do something about it. Stop being a bully, stop being a sheep and follower/supporter of a bully, take a stand and ban bullies from the school, workplace, families and from everywhere else.
System changes or not, remember that the universe or divine powers have their own magical ways of supporting innocent peoples in this world.
Let the universe, or god, or higher divine power, whatever you want to call it, be the judge of the bullies, mobbers, and their gangs.
